There’s a relationship theory going viral on TikTok and it’s making people rethink everything they do for their partners. Creator Becca Bloom posted a video explaining the“art of being useless,”and it’s pulled in 14.2 million views. Her argument is simple: the more you do for your partner, the more invested YOU become, not them. She points to the Benjamin Franklin effect, which suggests that doing favors for someone actually makes you like them more. So every breakfast you make and every chore you handle“for them”is quietly making you more attached, while they get to sit back.
Bloom used a friend as an example, someone who made her boyfriend breakfast and took out the trash every single day. The friend was all in. The boyfriend? He never had to prove anything. Bloom’s point is that overgiving removes the opportunities for your partner to show up for you, and those moments are exactly what build real attachment. It’s not about playing games. It’s about leaving room for reciprocity.
The comments on the video were split, with some people feeling validated and others sharing their own stories about giving too much. It’s tapping into a bigger conversation about emotional labor and who carries the weight in modern relationships. So we want to know: have you ever been the overgiver in a relationship? What happened when you finally pulled back?
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Local Lawton
Local Lawton is a contributor to LocalBeat, covering local news and community stories.