A new Cosmopolitan essay is calling out the way TikTok has turned“icks”into a group activity. Instead of figuring out what turns us off on our own, we scroll through viral turnoffs and adopt them, rejecting people for quirks we never even noticed before. The writer argues that #DateTok and social media beauty standards are reshaping how we see attraction, and that dating apps make it worse by putting dealbreakers front and center before a crush has any room to grow.
The best part of the essay is her own story. She met her boyfriend on a senior-year college trip, and she says she might have scrolled right past his public dancing if she’d seen it on TikTok first. In person, the same thing reads as charming. That’s the whole point: voice, mannerisms, and confidence don’t translate through a screen, and the slow-build crush works precisely because you don’t know everything yet.
So the next time an ick shows up in your feed, ask yourself if it’s actually yours. What’s the most borrowed turnoff you’ve ever caught yourself using?
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Local Lawton
Local Lawton is a contributor to LocalBeat, covering local news and community stories.