William Shatner just submitted one of the most entertaining rider demands in festival history, and it’s pure comedy gold. The 95-year-old Star Trek legend is bringing his metal band The *uckers to Chicago’s Riot Fest on September 20th, and apparently he decided that if he’s going to perform, he’s going all in. His demands include a DeLorean for stage transport (because why settle for a golf cart?), a boat renamed after him, and a dressing room called‘Shatner’s Shag Shack’complete with four feet of Polish sausage, eight pallets of Faygo, and adoptable puppies. Yes, adoptable puppies. He also wants a Montreal Canadiens sweater signed by John Stamos, which is oddly specific and absolutely perfect.
But the festival requests don’t stop there. Shatner also wants to sing the national anthem at a Chicago baseball game and co-anchor the weather on local TV because apparently his Riot Fest appearance is just the appetizer. The performance itself will feature a GWAR-created intro video and multiple fire breathers, setting the stage for what’s guaranteed to be one of the wildest sets of the entire festival. Riot Fest founder Mike Petryshyn has been writing letters to Shatner for years trying to get him to perform, and apparently all it took was saying yes to everything on this absolutely bonkers list.
What makes this whole situation so entertaining is that Shatner clearly doesn’t take himself too seriously. At 95 years old, he’s still pushing boundaries, still experimenting with metal music, and still bringing the kind of chaos and spectacle that makes live music memorable. This isn’t some desperate attempt to stay relevant, this is a living legend deciding to have as much fun as possible while doing what he loves. So what do you think: is this the most entertaining rider you’ve ever heard, or would you add something else to the list?
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Local Lawton
Local Lawton is a contributor to LocalBeat, covering local news and community stories.