Hoda Kotb's Dating Deal-Breaker Has Nothing to Do With Your Wallet

When Hoda Kotb talks about what she’s looking for in a partner, money doesn’t even enter the conversation. The former Today host is far more interested in something money can’t buy: genuine human connection and old-school manners.

On the Thursday, July 9 episode of her“Joy Rides”YouTube miniseries, the 61-year-old opened up about her dating preferences, and they’re rooted in something deeply personal—her parents. Kotb grew up watching her father, without fail, open every door for her mother. It became the blueprint for what she expects from the men she dates. That’s not performative elegance; that’s respect baked into everyday moments. When someone orders before her at a restaurant, or worse, hops into their own side of the car and unlocks it from the inside like she’s supposed to fumble with the handle? That’s her number-one red flag. For Kotb, it’s everything.

But here’s what’s striking: in an era when dating app profiles tout six-figure incomes and luxury vacations, Kotb couldn’t care less about a man’s bank account. Emotional connection is her currency. She’s looking for someone who genuinely enjoys life and knows how to be present—the kind of person who creates a moment worth floating on.

She got a taste of that recently on a flight, sitting next to a stranger with whom she felt an inexplicable spark. There was no grand gesture, no impressive credential drop. Just a real, tangible connection that left her thinking: I need more of this. It’s a reminder that sometimes the most compelling attraction has nothing to do with status and everything to do with how someone makes you feel in a quiet moment.

This comes after Kotb’s eight-year relationship with financier Joel Schiffman ended in 2022 when they called off their engagement. They share two daughters—Haley, 9, and Hope, 7—and maintain an amicable co-parenting arrangement. In May 2025, on the“Making Space”podcast, Kotb reflected on raising her kids largely on her own, wondering how they’ll understand love when they don’t see a traditional partnership in her home. Families, she acknowledged, come in different shapes and sizes. That perspective—grounded and realistic—seems to inform what she’s looking for now: not a savior or a status symbol, but someone real enough to open a door, present enough to create connection, and secure enough to let her be fully seen.