Dakota Johnson's New SNL Promo Involves Derek Jeter, Davy Jones, and a Goat Question

Dakota Johnson is hosting Saturday Night Live for the third time on October 4, and the promo she shot with cast member Ashley Padilla is already the kind of clip people send to their group chats. The two-minute teaser is built around Johnson insisting she’s related to basically every famous person whose name starts with D.J. She runs through Derek Jeter, Dwayne Johnson, and DeSean Jackson before landing on Davy Jones, casually calling him her uncle. Padilla points out that initials do not work that way. Johnson’s reply:“I knew it!”

The bit escalates from there. Padilla mentions her mother called SNL“too horny,”which is why she never watched it growing up. Johnson’s reaction is to ask whether Padilla has ever skinned a goat with her bare hands. Padilla says no. Johnson looks her up and down and concludes the two are nothing alike. It is fully absurd and fully on brand for Johnson, who has turned deadpan press tour energy into an art form.

Turnstile is also making their SNL debut as musical guest, which gives the episode two very different but very passionate fanbases. Johnson, meanwhile, is promoting Verity, her new film based on the Colleen Hoover novel, and she recently appeared in Taylor Swift’s“Patient Zero”music video. That’s a lot of headline real estate for one weekend. Which part of the promo got you first, the D.J. family tree or the goat question?