Brian Hickerson Still Dreams of Marrying Hayden Panettiere

Sometimes the hardest part of moving on isn’t accepting that a relationship is over—it’s admitting you don’t actually want it to be.

In a sit-down with TMZ’s Charlie Neff ahead of Hayden Panettiere’s upcoming memoir“This Is Me: A Reckoning,”her ex Brian Hickerson laid bare feelings he’s apparently never quite put to rest. When asked point-blank if he thinks about marrying the former“Nashville”actress someday, he didn’t hedge.“Yeah, of course,”he said, his words carrying the weight of years spent trying to move forward while still looking back.

The complicated reality is that Hickerson seems painfully aware their relationship probably won’t work—and maybe that’s the cruelest thing about unresolved feelings. He acknowledged that Hayden is too talented, too focused on her career trajectory, for him to be anything but a distraction.“I think that Hayden is one of the most talented people I’ve ever met in my life, and I would be an idiot not to walk away from her and let her flourish in her career. So, we probably wouldn’t be good together,”he admitted. It’s a surprisingly mature take wrapped around a fundamentally immature hope.

The exes dated on and off from 2018 to 2022, a period that spiraled into legal turmoil. Hickerson pleaded no contest to felony domestic violence charges, served jail time, and faced probation alongside a five-year restraining order. He’s been honest about his own role in the damage—the drugs, the alcohol, the“dark place”he occupied during their time together. Yet despite all that wreckage, he still says he misses Hayden every day. They were even photographed together at LAX back in March, sparking whispers that they’d rekindled things, though Hickerson framed their current dynamic as friendship built on mutual respect.

This is the paradox of loving someone you’ve hurt: knowing they’re better off without you doesn’t make you want them any less. Hayden’s memoir will likely offer her version of this story—the reckoning promised by its title. For now, Hickerson’s confession serves as a reminder that sometimes the hardest person to move on from isn’t the one who’s moved on, but the one who’s still stuck in hope.